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Sitting here watching episodes of "Happily Never After" and "Fatal vows". You'd think that is the last thing I want to watch right now but both me and Nick think these kinds of shows are really interesting. He just came home from a night out with his work buddies and I woke up a few hours ago. The time difference is weird. When my Friday night is done and I am waking up in the morning, his Friday night is just getting started. But we had a really good Skype call yesterday which is what gets us through all of this and gives us energy to keep on going for a few more days.

 

I am constantly planning what we are going to do when he comes to visit me (hopefully in May). I just found out that you can get a tour in the downtown church in English. That's perfect since the Swedish churches have such long and fascinating history and definitely not the kind of history you'll find in America. They have cathedrals in places like San Francisco, but if you go to a church in San Jose it'll basically just be a room in a house that probably hasn't been around for more than 40 years. Nick is really looking forward to seeing all of these places that I keep talking about! I have spent many months visiting places that have been special and significant in his life, so now it is my turn! :)

 

Yesterday I got my criminal record in the mail. I ordered it for my job interview so on Monday I'll take a walk to their office to hand it over. It came much earlier than I had expected which means I'll find out sooner rather than later if I got the job or not. Fingers crossed! I need to save up money for a flight ticket to the US for when my visa has been approved, I need a gym card to get back into shape and I definitely need a dentist appointment because a year and a half in America has not done my teeth any good. Even just getting out of the house more would be healthy for me. Right now I see a friend for an hour here and there and then I'm by my computer the rest of the time because I have nothing better to do or money to spend. I am reeeeally looking forward to this weekend though because Sofie is going to spend both tonight and tomorrow night with me after she is done working.

 

My friend Lisa and her little Lovelia stopped by yesterday which was fun :) Lovelia said she was dressed as Elsa and her jaw dropped when I showed her my video from the Frozen parade at Disney World ;) The last time I saw this little one she was 1½ year old and now she is 3. She's not shy at all, just when you watch her dance, haha ;) It's better to just dance with her, like this!

 

Yesterday I had the best time meeting up with my old friend Jasmine! We started hanging out in 6th grade and used to dance together. We have hardly seen each other since high school because she got married to an American guy and moved to the States. Now she is back in Sweden and together with a French guy who seems very sweet, I couldn't be happier for her! I was thrilled when she wrote to me and asked to meet up. I hadn't even thought about doing that because I didn't know she was back in town. Our other friend Anna is planning on moving back too. It finally feels like we are alla reuniting again. It's the perfect timing now that I am back in Sweden termporarily and really need to be surrounded by friends.

 

Talking to Jasmine was great and two hours flew by so fast. We were surprised when the waitress all of a sudden said that the café was closing, haha. Jasmine understands the American life and gets what I mean when I tell her I am really bored because in America there is always something to do. We love our hometown but we have grown up doing everything we can do here and it just doesn't appeal to us anymore. We want to travel and live life to the fullest and that isn't possible in this city. She understands how hard it is to have a long distance relationship since she is in one right now. She gets how tiring it is for me who has no reason at the moment to go to bed at a certain hour, so I sit up staring at Nick's name on Facebook "Is he online now?". "How about now?", "If I stay up another hour it'll be this time in San Jose.", "He's probably having lunch now so maybe he'll log on after that". I drive myself nuts with it. But it's not like I have anything to do anyways and he's the center of my universe. These days he literally is. (Trying not to sound like a crazy stalker here, hahaha :P)

 

Me and Jasmine are definitely going to meet up again because she's got so much advice to give about American insurances etc. And we both miss going out with our friends. The clubs here are boring so we want to check out the bars and see if they are even close to as fun as the American ones. It's not about getting drunk and reckless, it's more of a social thing in America. When me and Nick go to Effie's it's like seeing our family. I miss my life in San Jose like crazy but this is an okay way of staying busy for now.

 

Nick has more things to stay busy with but it's not easy for him either. On Tuesday he had woken up and started talking. It was something that he wanted to tell me about his grandma that he just came to think of. When he didn't get a reply he looked up and said "Baby?" and saw an empty bed. Long distance relationships suck!

 

Me and Sofie really should have gone to bear island earlier this week like we had planned instead of being lazy about it :P It's one of our favorite places during winter but now the snow has melted away within just a few days!! So now it's very slippery, icy, wet and kind of boring outside. Usually we don't get this kind of weather until March. It is very noticable in Scandinava that the Earth is getting warmer because we normally get snow two months before Christmas and now it often doesn't even come until after Christmas. I absolutely hate it. As a kid I had the most awesome winters and now they look dull. I am hoping we'll get a bit more snow before spring!

 

Anyways, we shouldn't have waited until late afternoon to go either because some sunlight would have been nice. Sofie is so brave and wasn't scared at all but there is just something about being surrounded by a dark forest that just doesn't feel safe to me ;) When we finally reached the camp fire area we couldn't get it lit! The fire wood was probably a bit damp from the weather and the potato chips we had brought didn't work at all! Lol, Sofie had read somewhere that you can use that and she actually tried it at home and it worked. But the problem was that she had gotten fat-free chips this time so the fire kept going out. She put paper towels on there which gave us a two minute long fire and a distinct smell of burnt fries, then it got dark again xD haha! We just ate our sandwhiches and took the next bus back into town.

 

Wednesday was worse to say the least. I have been lucky to have many old friends reach out and want to meet up since I came back. That is so amazing and has really helped keep me from going insane. But this day I had absolutely nothing to do or no one to see. In the morning I woke up in a good mood and got laundry and dishes done. You basically fake it for a while and then all of your thoughts creep up on you and then won't stop spinning around in your brain. I ended up being very unmotivated to do anything because I really had nothing planned. Around lunch time I went to buy a frame for Nick's photo and I also organized the fiancé visa/green card folder but that didn't take more than a few minutes. These days are hard because I just feel sad and wish I had a job already to distract me with. I ended up going back to the church actually. It was so nice sitting there in the complete silence. Except for those two guys who were drilling holes and building something of course. But there is just something about a church and the echoing in it that feels comforting and it helped to clear my head. I still had a whole day and night in front of me to get through when I came home which was rough but I'm taking one day at a time.