I took a long break from my blog because I just didn't feel like writing anymore. The stress of going through the visa process and staying sane was enough for me to handle. Although I am very happy to say that we are now getting ready for me to move back to America and my fiancé Nick. We are both thrilled! If the interview goes well I should be moving in just 32 days. This has meant that we have had to discuss our wedding details. We will only do a private court wedding ceremony by ourselves and then celebrate with a dinner and later on a party for our friends. Since neither one of my Swedish family or friends can be there, we did not want a big celebration that they would miss out on. That is just not right.
But with this wedding planning we have also had to discuss whether or not we should have a bachelor/bachelorette party. We have decided not to do it, since it would be difficult to gather the friends who have moved away. Instead, for our big wedding in a few years we would love to have our bachelor/bachelorette parties since more people will be able to attend!
This has still got me thinking about that tradition. Today I was recommended an article on Facebook that gave advice to bridesmaids and how they can throw the best sort of bachelorette party for the bride. You can imagine it was full of strict planning, flower arrangements, funny hats, a sweet note from her future husband and a fancy dinner. It said nothing about a stripper. Why do we to this day agree with this very old fashioned idea that men are wild sexual beasts who need to have one last night of freedom and girls rubbing themselves all over their bodies, before they get married? Does this bring the marriage some extra good luck? Does it decrease the risk of the groom running off one day and cheating on the bride because he is upset he didn't get his one last night as a "single man"?
It's very interesting how this night before the wedding day is considered the last night of being single. When the last night of being single actually was when the guy decided to get into the relationship. The last HURRAH shouldn't be the bachelor party or the wedding. The last HURRAH is the day you decide to become boyfriend and girlfriend. If you think that you need one last close sexual encounter with another person, then you shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place.
I am lucky enough to have a future husband who doesn't like strip clubs. The idea of paying someone to straddle him and pretend that she likes him when she doesn't even know him, disgusts him. Some would argue that he only tells me that to make me happy and that it's only natural for a man to enjoy strippers. But I'd like to think that I know my future husband well enough to know that he is very honest and fully capable of telling me his opinions. If he thinks I am wrong, he tells me I am wrong.
At the end of the day, bachelor and bachelorette parties should be just as equal as the relationship. If you, as a man, is completely fine with your fiancée going to a strip club and getting a lap dance from a good looking guy in a thong, then by all means, go to a strip club yourself. But it's like I have told Nick, if you do decide to go out and see other half naked women and enjoy their company, then you better be prepared to deal with your feelings about me doing the same.
And if you are a guy's best friend and knows that he doesn't want a lap dance for his bachelor party - respect his wishes. Out of respect for his relationship and future marriage. Don't force it upon him. Because the truth is that a lot of guys feel hella guilty about those kind of events. Deep down inside they know it's just an act to prove that they are real men who can do whatever they want, that no woman can control them. But if they really love their future wives, why would they want to have anything to do with other women? They don't go after other women normally so why would they do that the day before their wedding? Isn't that the absolute worst timing ever? If there is anything you want from going to that strip club that your wife can't provide for you, then you shouldn't get married at all. Know that your relationship is better than falling for that old tradition and that the respect you have for each other is far too important to risk destroying. I sure don't want any other man than Nick. He is my one and only. That is why I am marrying him.