Visa troubles & Heavy hearts

To make a long story short, because this is just getting harder and harder for us to talk about - Our visa paper work is missing! Almost three months ago we got a letter from the USCIS saying that our case had been approved and that they were sending it to the National Visa Center. It was only going to take about a month, then the National Visa Center would send our case to the US Embassy in Sweden so that I could go on my interview. Well, two months passed by and we heard nothing. So we contacted the National Visa Center who said that they hadn't gotten our paper work. Great. Basically, after several weeks of trying to figure things out - this is what is going to happen.
On September 29th it will be three months since the paper work was approved and lost, which means that the USCIS will create a service request. That means that they will assign someone our case and try to find our stuff. It's been an emotional roller coaster since someone at the USCIS made it sound super simple at first, like he would just fix it for us. But after doing some research we know that a lot of people have to wait months and months during a service request and it's not even a guarantee that our case will be recovered again. So we are stuck in a very difficult and heart wrenching situation right now. Is it worth waiting for several months for paper work that might not even be found? Would it go faster to simply send in another visa petition? But that means we would have to wait for another 9 months. Although if they don't find our paper work and we send in another petition later on, we will have to wait a whole lot longer than 9 months. This situation sucks more than I can tell you. When I dropped Nick off at the airport we were sure that I would move to San Jose in October/November and our biggest concern was if I would miss Halloween and celebrating our birthdays together. But now I am probably not even going to celebrate Christmas and New Years in San Jose. Who knows if I will even be back until next summer? It's too hard to talk to people about it so both me and Nick have started to shut down a bit. People of course ask us how the visa is coming along, but all I can bring myself to do is to write this blog update so anyone who reads it will at least know what is going on.
I wrote a list of pros and cons of staying longer in Sweden. The thought of being stuck here when I already feel trapped, lonely and sad is painful but at least there are a few good things about it.
Being apart of Agnes's first Christmas
Getting to spend a snowy winter in Sweden, which I haven't done in two years
I get to spend more time with my best friend Sofie
Me and Sofie can go on that roadtrip to the north
I get more chances to finish school and hopefully get my degree
I get to make money since the pre school where I am at wants to keep me for as long as possible
Keep going to the gym here in Västerås to stay fit and busy
Sofie is throwing me a surprise birthday celebration
Maybe we will have a summer wedding after all, like I always wanted
Me and Nick were supposed to start going to the gym together in San Jose, I was looking forward to that
Nick was going to have two procedures done soon, but now I can't take care of him if he does
On Christmas, birthdays and other holidays I will feel terribly lonely going to bed at night by myself
We are wasting more time that we could have spent building a future together
We will miss my birthday
We will miss Halloween
We will miss Thanksgiving
We will miss his birthday
We will miss Christmas
We will miss New Years
Being away from Nick
Being away from Nick
Being away from Nick
Being away from Nick outweighs all of the good things about staying

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