We got a whole extra day together!! - Nick going home

So the day came when it was time to take Nick to the airport. We got up pretty early to get ready. Nick had packed his luggage the night before and filled it with all kinds of Swedish treats, the Marabou chocolate took up most space and became very popular among his family and friends ;) While he was in the shower I was supposed to get started on breakfast but instead I wrote him a sweet card and managed to sneak it into his backpack seconds before he came out of the shower, haha!
His flight was going to take off at 1:20 so around 10 am we were on our way to Arlanda airport. The mood in the car wasn't exactly fun. But when we had just reached the city Enköping Nick got a text message saying that his flight was delayed 7 hours!!! WHAT!? We turned the car around and went back home feeling very taken aback by the fact that we wouldn't have to say good bye yet. The best part about coming home was Nick pulling a prank on my parents saying that he had decided to move in and then he gave my dad a list of things he'll need. My dad's inital "WHAT? :O" was priceless xD hahaha
It was wonderful getting a whole day extra together. We laid in bed, cooked a pasta dish, shared a chocolate pastry, played dice and had so many funny tickle fights where I ended up on the floor (totally losing the fight lol). It was the perfect ending to this vacation since we felt more complete now. We switched body sprays so he got to bring back his old one and I got his new one. The old one just makes me sad these days while the new one reminds me of more recent fun times. We also switched sweaters. He got his black sweater back and I got to keep his flannel sweater that I love so much. I always hug his sweater at night but that black one had also started to remind me of sad times. The flannel sweater reminds me of his vacation in Sweden and it's all good.
Going to the airport again wasn't easy though. I was an emotional wreck while Nick played games on his cell phone trying to forget about what was going on. We always tend to deal with these things in different ways. The airport made us hella confused though and we ended up standing in the wrong line for like half an hour until we found the Norweigan line that only took about 5 minutes, haha! His flight was delayed yet another 1½ hour so we took a walk outside and then sat down at a café to chill. Nick had a beer and played "brain it on" which is a fun game to challenge your problem solving skills. I knew that we would have to say good bye at the gate/security check point but he had been trying to avoid thinking about it, so he didn't realize that we would have to say good bye so suddenly. We both ended up crying of course but it was different this time. We knew we would see each other soon, so it wasn't as heartbreaking. It was harder for Nick though. He said that he now realizes what it was like for me to leave San Jose. It's worse for the person who gets on the airplane because they are leaving all of the fun times that they have had here. And they don't know when they will get it back. Nick told me that he had been really scared about flying here over the big ocean and to a new country, but that it was nothing compared to how he felt now leaving me. Neithe one of us wanted him to go but he had to. We waved to each other before he went through security and that was the last time I saw him. I both laughed and cried the whole way home because I felt happier now than I had in the last 6 months, but was so sad that he was gone.
Nick's flight actually ended up being even more delayed. Poor guy, he was trapped on that plane for 12 hours instead of 10! He got home really late but still stayed up all night because his dad and friends had arranged a welcome home party. While I went back to my lonely and quiet bedroom with no one to greet me. I am very tired of feeling like I have almost no one here in Sweden. It did make me happy though, when Nick told me that he had just unpacked his bag and found my card :) it took him completely by surprise and made him so happy.
I didn't like the thought of having to sleep alone in my bed again. But we were both calmer this time around. I felt a lot stronger. We knew what we were getting ourselves into this time. The last time we were so scared because 6 months seemed like an eternity, and it was, although we never doubted if we would get through it or not. Now we knew how to mentally prepare ourselves. We truly needed those 6 months for our relationship to grow stronger, it has been like a crash course in marriage. And yet these two vacation weeks were more than needed as well, because we were running out of energy and didn't know how much longer we could keep going. It feels like a hundred years ago that we stayed at the hotel in Västerås and everything was awkward. We didn't know how to be together because we had been apart for so long. Now we can laugh at how we acted like newly in love teenagers when he first got to Sweden. We feel newly in love now again, but in a much better way.
It's crazy to think back to how I wanted my life to be as a kid. I dreamt about living in California with my dream guy. I didn't have any preferences for how he would look but I am sucker for rock n roll guys. I wanted him to be taller than me, sort of mysterious but also silly, funny, emotional and willing to talk to me about everything. I think it's so sad that a lot of guys are raised to not speak about their feelings but Nick is not afraid of doing that. It's inspiring whenever he admits that certain things scares him, because he also does whatever he can to work on those things. Now my dream guy is back in California and I can't wait to join him, to start building our dream life together!
A ton of Marabou chocolate in his luggage ;)
Leaving my house for the first time
Aaaand we are back :D and Caroline won this round of the dice game ;)
At Arlanda airport after spending more time at home
This was the bench he sat down on to have a cigarette when I first picked him up. Weird flashback :)
Standing in the wrong line lol
We had a lot of time to kill so we took a walk around the airport
Those perfect eyes <3
Hanging out with that horrible feeling in our stomachs
After leaving Nick I went back to my car, bawled my eyes out for quite a while and then drove home
It's just you and me now, sweater

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