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I had to take the bus to work one day because my dad needed the car. Which meant that I had to get up much earlier to take a 15 minute walk down to the Centralstation but it was alright. I always like walking through the Vasa park. Plus, I got to enjoy watching a beautiful sky instead of keeping my eyes on the road.

 

We had a wonderful week where you could actually start to feel the heat from the sun. The next day I was going to video chat with Nick when he came home from work, so while waiting for him I took a stroll down to the Black river. Usually there are only ducks there, but this time a whole bunch of black/white birds were there. It was damn cool how they were flying around close to everyone's heads and making noise.

 

One thing that comes with wanting to be with someone for the rest of your life is to accept that they are not perfect. They are going to do weird and stupid things that you don't like. But seeing these things as fun little quirks is to accept and love the person for who they really are. I have my stupid quirks too. One of the smaller ones is that Nick doesn't like when I put my hair up in a bun on the top of my head, lol. I almost always do that before going to sleep. I totally get that it's not exactly my best look, haha! But I don't do it to look good, just for comfort because I hate how the hair tickles my neck and makes it itch. And instead of complaining about it and making me feel bad, Nick embraces it by making little jokes because he realizes that it's just one of my quirks. Just like I do with his quirks. Sometimes it's so easy to get annoyed about bigger quirks that people have and bang your head against the wall until they change them. Lately I have learned to appreciate those differences. And that makes me feel so much happier and relaxed.

 

Being in a long distance relationshop sure has taught us a LOT. I mean, things that we would never have learned otherwise. I'm 100% sure about that. As hard as this may be, it still doesn't feel like bad luck or poor timing. It feels like we were meant to go through this. So many couples don't break up because they are too comfortable to want to change it. It's more convenient to stay together because breaking up means you'll have to deal with heart ache, maybe even a divorce, figuring out how to hang out with the same friends while being civil and start dating other people again. But me and Nick can't exactly say that we are together because it is convenient. The matter of fact is that a long distance relationship is as uncomfortable and annoying as any relationship can be. But during this time apart we have found out just how strong our bond is. We already made sacrifices for each other in San Jose by getting up 15-20 min early just so that we could get extra time to cuddle before work. But now sacrificing can mean to give up a whole evening of seeing friends so that we can hang out on the video chat instead. Or to stay up a couple of hours late and go to work exhausted the next day, because you just weren't ready to hang up the call just yet.

 

I wish I had a place like Effie's to go to on any day of the week. But I don't. My entertainment is to see a friend maybe one or two days our of the week. The rest of my time is spent alone or at work. It's not easy motivating yourself to do much then. Therefore my video calls with Nick means the world to me. That is what keeps me sane. It feels great though, to hear that everyone is asking Nick about me and wondering when I will be back. They are so sweet for caring about us and wanting us to be okay!

Here in Sweden the weather has been warm and dusty - a true sign of spring is when you get thirsty just by being outside! I love it. It's hard choosing what to dress the kids in though. Many parents haven't had the time to exchange their childrens winter clothes for spring clothes yet. One moment it's too hot to wear them and in the next moment you bundle everyone up in thick jackets and scarfs because it's so windy, rainy and cold. Some days I am so tired after talking to Nick late at night and I end up dreading going to work. But those days sometimes turn out better thanks to the kids. A bilingual boy started speaking Swedish to me for the first time. But he went back to his quiet old self with the other teachers. It was so wonderful seeing him light up when he realized that he and I could understand each other for the first time. And one child with major physical disabilities absolutely loved digging around in the sand box one day and laughed himself to sleep during nap time while I was sitting next to him. ‪That makes it all worth it.

 

It's funny looking back at something that I wrote on March 30th, 2015. Just a month before meeting Nick. It was supposed to be posted on my au pair blog but I never got to it for some reason. And when I met Nick it felt stupid and unnecessary to share it with the world, because all of a sudden my reality and future had changed. I wrote about how I'm not looking forward to going back to Sweden at all. "Right now it's very easy for me to think about the dirty streets in the cities of Sweden (if people in America can stop themselves from spitting out gum everywhere here, then I am sure Swedes can do the same) and the same boring buildings that I have seen my whole entire life. But I am going to have to stop thinking of all the things at home that I don't look forward to coming back to. I'm just simply going to have to work hard to keep a similar lifestyle that I have here."

 

My goal was to get my education done and then work, work, work to make enough money to travel everywhere that I want to go. Australia and going back to California were my main goals. I thought that perhaps working as a teacher in another city of Sweden would help my feelings of not wanting to go back to my hometown. But I knew that I'd be pretty bored there too. "I know some people are perfectly happy to stay in the same place their whole life and have the same job. But I was bored when I left and I will be bored when I come back. I need to travel and live in other places to stay sane. This world is too great and wonderful not to do everything I can while it's possible."

 

I was in a good stage of my life where I was 100% content. "It's too much fun waking up every day to sunshine, go the gym early where every single other au pair works out too, watch Navy guys swim in the pool (lol, yeah that was mine and Petronella's Wednesday entertainment!), go to lunch with my friends, pick up the kids from school, go to swim practice or softball practice and play with them until it's dinner time, then after a long day get a random call from one of my best friends late at night to talk about this rollercoaster road it is to be an au pair."

 

I also wrote about why I had decided a while back to not extend for one year after all. I knew I would be done living with other people about 6 months later. Or at least people who I work for. I wanted my own place, the responsibility of my own life and my own family. I talked about how badly I wanted to come back to America again and that I would save up money to travel or study there. I didn't even mention marriage because lord knows that wasn't in the card for me at the time. It's just fascinating that I wrote this and one month later I met Nick. All of a sudden I had my dream man and with that came the opportunity to live in one of my favorite places in the world. I know some Swedes who moved to America for love but who actually don't even want to live there. I'm seriously so lucky and thank myself every day for going away as an au pair.